Phoenix

You’ve been feeding the flames for longer than you know,
forcing me to find my own path on a dark and twisted road.
That’s all right, cause somewhere here inside was the last flicker of a dying flame,
but now it’s burning bright.

All those struggles, all those choices are still knocking at my door,
but instead of hiding I’m going to show a little more
of what I’m made of.


Go ahead and fan my flame
You’ve turned this little struggle into my favorite game.
Higher, just a little higher and then a burst of light!
Quiet now…


Quiet…


And from the ashes someone new and stronger,
you don’t have to wait any longer,

after all…necessity is the mother of reinvention.

In My Skin

I woke up yesterday, several days into a migraine, and felt as though I had been run over by a life size version of my son’s Thomas the Tank Engine. It hurt to move. And think. And hear. And be. After much stretching I started to feel a little better…

I haven’t left,
not really.
I’ve been here all along
but yesterday you yelled at me,
and I know I got it wrong.

You carry me through all my days,
protect me, nourish me, heal
and I take it all in stride
and act like it’s no big deal.

You’ve borne my children and my dreams
heard every goal and wish
and have worked and played to make them real,
and I’ve thanked you like this?

Always in a hurry with something more to do,
I never stop to breathe, check in and listen to you,
but yesterday you yelled at me
and I heard, clearly and loudly,
I heard you.

We need stillness in our days, more stretching and sun
We need a little less work, less worry, more fun.
We need patience and hope and faith and love
and a grateful heart.
We need singing and silliness and time for art.

I’m sorry I haven’t listened. 
I’m sorry I got it wrong
but I’m glad I heard you yesterday,
I’m sure we’ll come back strong.

Remembering the Year

May you have a moment 
on the final day this year
to reflect on what has been;
memories of smiles and tears,
times that taught a lesson-
sometimes so well hidden
that it hardly seemed a blessing
and took a while to learn.

Recall how time passed and days turned
to months and then
to seasons
in a breath.
Sometimes we were left
behind
as loved ones passed.

Sometimes too
families changed and grew
and love and life began anew.  

Years are full of life, of precious moments that slip through our grasp.

May the moments of the coming year
be good ones that last.

Written 2018

Pause

I haven't stopped to wait for words in a while. 

I think they've grown shy,
unsure of my ability to hear
the songs of the muses
that once flooded my ears. 

I've been busy. 

With all the great obstacles
and opportunities 
that have made my story these past years. 

But I'm here. 

I may flit and flutter out and in
like a butterfly upon a feast of flowers
and, when full, take a long rest.
I do my best. 

I've been busy. 

But I'm here.

Lightning Bugs

This warm evening, softened by
air thick with summer's breath,
will be with me forever... 

Your hand in mine,
fingers not yet long enough to intertwine, 
holding steady
ready to encounter a new piece of the world. 

Your rubber rainboots, still a size too big,
clumping on the pavement with each step.  
This is an adventure they'd never been on before.

We weren't alone.
The frogs sang excitedly nearby, voices jumping over one another in a bubbly cacophony,
and every so often a car rushed past trying to beat the setting sun. 

Then there was one. 

A flicker.  
A single sparkle at the edge of the wood, 
the limelight we were searching for. 

And then slowly...there were more... 

Playing twilight twinkle hide and seek 
as we rushed to guess
where they might fly next. 

I wish you were here when they were as plentiful as clouds in the sky.
The years have seen fewer and fewer dance their summer lullaby.


This warm evening, softened by
air thick with summer's breath,
will be with me forever...

Healing

Healing is revealing
to yourself
the parts of you, you saved away
for another, less busy,
less crazy day
that never came. 

Healing is releasing
for yourself
fear, unseen obstacles;
the hesitation
of full participation 
in each moment. 

Healing is slow,
sometimes frustratingly so,
it's letting go,
and getting to know
what's inside of your heart.
Healing is a special art.

Time to Breathe

This morning dawned 
 a little different than before.

 I felt a whisper brush across me
 and knew that change had come.
 That life, if it had ever really settled,
 was once again to be undone.  

The lesson of the season
 had been to open up my eyes
 and rediscover what I'd lost
 as truth unraveled her disguise. 

What you think-
 you see-
 you feel...and it is so. 

Perhaps the path was hard because
 I could not, would not let go
 Of thoughts, of things, of old routines
 of endless lists of goals and dreams
 of future moments
 And in between...
 I lost the here and now. 

And when you live outside the present
 you scatter yourself somehow. 

So as the sun called out to me,
 to come and greet the day,
 I knew it was time to pick up the pieces
 and try another way.

Love

I made a wish and blew a kiss
 and sent it to the stars.
 I wished upon some candle flames
 and on all the pennies in my jar.

 I dreamed a dream upon a flower
 and sent the petals floating in the wind.
 I wrote a hope inside a note
 and sent the bottle for a swim.

 I took a fallen eyelash and 
 sent it flying in the breeze.
 I spoke my hopes to all the leaves
 dancing on the trees.

 And all those wishes and all those dreams,
 though they took a while,
 come true for me, 
 every time you smile.

Migraine

You sit upon my shoulders
and try to weigh me down
with muscles that tighten
and make it hard to move around.

You sneak into my jaw,
my cheeks, my lips, my teeth
sitting quietly 
while you stew just underneath.

Then moving...

You grip and squeeze my head
setting fire to my mind
shooting sparks inside my eyes
igniting pain, leaving nothing far behind.

I should have learned by now
just how to conquer you,
I should be on to all your tricks
this isn’t something new.

Maybe I’m too rushed
or there’s more I need to learn
about patience, calm, balance...
as once again you burn

setting stones upon my shoulders
throbbing ache inside my jaw
stabbing at my eyes and
 I wait for the medicine to work
and the pain to finally thaw,
release me,
give me another turn
to see if, maybe this time, my lesson I have learned.