Pause

I haven't stopped to wait for words in a while. 

I think they've grown shy,
unsure of my ability to hear
the songs of the muses
that once flooded my ears. 

I've been busy. 

With all the great obstacles
and opportunities 
that have made my story these past years. 

But I'm here. 

I may flit and flutter out and in
like a butterfly upon a feast of flowers
and, when full, take a long rest.
I do my best. 

I've been busy. 

But I'm here.

Lightning Bugs

This warm evening, softened by
air thick with summer's breath,
will be with me forever... 

Your hand in mine,
fingers not yet long enough to intertwine, 
holding steady
ready to encounter a new piece of the world. 

Your rubber rainboots, still a size too big,
clumping on the pavement with each step.  
This is an adventure they'd never been on before.

We weren't alone.
The frogs sang excitedly nearby, voices jumping over one another in a bubbly cacophony,
and every so often a car rushed past trying to beat the setting sun. 

Then there was one. 

A flicker.  
A single sparkle at the edge of the wood, 
the limelight we were searching for. 

And then slowly...there were more... 

Playing twilight twinkle hide and seek 
as we rushed to guess
where they might fly next. 

I wish you were here when they were as plentiful as clouds in the sky.
The years have seen fewer and fewer dance their summer lullaby.


This warm evening, softened by
air thick with summer's breath,
will be with me forever...

Healing

Healing is revealing
to yourself
the parts of you, you saved away
for another, less busy,
less crazy day
that never came. 

Healing is releasing
for yourself
fear, unseen obstacles;
the hesitation
of full participation 
in each moment. 

Healing is slow,
sometimes frustratingly so,
it's letting go,
and getting to know
what's inside of your heart.
Healing is a special art.

Time to Breathe

This morning dawned 
 a little different than before.

 I felt a whisper brush across me
 and knew that change had come.
 That life, if it had ever really settled,
 was once again to be undone.  

The lesson of the season
 had been to open up my eyes
 and rediscover what I'd lost
 as truth unraveled her disguise. 

What you think-
 you see-
 you feel...and it is so. 

Perhaps the path was hard because
 I could not, would not let go
 Of thoughts, of things, of old routines
 of endless lists of goals and dreams
 of future moments
 And in between...
 I lost the here and now. 

And when you live outside the present
 you scatter yourself somehow. 

So as the sun called out to me,
 to come and greet the day,
 I knew it was time to pick up the pieces
 and try another way.

Love

I made a wish and blew a kiss
 and sent it to the stars.
 I wished upon some candle flames
 and on all the pennies in my jar.

 I dreamed a dream upon a flower
 and sent the petals floating in the wind.
 I wrote a hope inside a note
 and sent the bottle for a swim.

 I took a fallen eyelash and 
 sent it flying in the breeze.
 I spoke my hopes to all the leaves
 dancing on the trees.

 And all those wishes and all those dreams,
 though they took a while,
 come true for me, 
 every time you smile.

Migraine

You sit upon my shoulders
and try to weigh me down
with muscles that tighten
and make it hard to move around.

You sneak into my jaw,
my cheeks, my lips, my teeth
sitting quietly 
while you stew just underneath.

Then moving...

You grip and squeeze my head
setting fire to my mind
shooting sparks inside my eyes
igniting pain, leaving nothing far behind.

I should have learned by now
just how to conquer you,
I should be on to all your tricks
this isn’t something new.

Maybe I’m too rushed
or there’s more I need to learn
about patience, calm, balance...
as once again you burn

setting stones upon my shoulders
throbbing ache inside my jaw
stabbing at my eyes and
 I wait for the medicine to work
and the pain to finally thaw,
release me,
give me another turn
to see if, maybe this time, my lesson I have learned.

One by one

One can be dangerous.

One
can be the difference between
pleasure and pain,
as willpower lost
is hard to regain.

As balance teeters
and control peters out,
one can sow
seeds of fear and of doubt...

or

One can be hope filled,
one
can be the difference
to getting closer to a dream,
a tiny step forward
not always felt or seen.

One can change the pattern,
disrupt the rhythm, break the mold;
one can change the old to new
and make way for fresh stories to be told.
 
One is a possibility, a pathway, a chance.
One is an opportunity, a decision, a stance.
One is limiting and freeing.

Take care in every 'one' encountered
as they shape destinies.



Motherhood: Sleepless Nights

One day I wont remember why, at 1 a.m.,
you woke me
just to say hello again.
To look into my eyes, to snuggle, to hold my shaky hand...

I won’t remember just how small you were
as you conducted all my moves
with grunts and squirms and fussy cries
full of attitude.

I won’t remember arching my aching back or how heavy my eyelids were
as the numbers on the clock flicked past and melted into a reddened blur.

I won’t remember how you curled up closer and closer to me
growing warmer, softer, heavier
as once again you grew sleepy.

I won’t remember all the details of these long and sleepless nights
my memory will dim as if shutting off the lights...

I know that this time is fleeting,
that you’ll grow and need me no more, 
that there will come a day 
when I’d wish and I’d pray 
for a moment of these times from before.

And I’ll remember the sleepiness, 
the unending effort, the uncertainties and doubt, 
the demand...

And I’ll remember loving you, 
snuggling you, 
and holding your tiny 
and already growing hand.